Marry me in the shopping aisle of Aldi
Poem: Marry me in the shopping aisle of Aldi
Greeted at the start with prices good on fruit and veg.
My love I will pledge and declare for all to see
They’ll smile with delight and rapturously applaud me!
Babes, are those tears of joy I can see beginning to well up in your eyes with a sniffly nose?
You then whisper in my ear, you’d have preferred if this moment was done in Waitrose ✨
Review: Marry me in the shopping aisle of Aldi
I’ve written quite a few reviews in my time, but I’ve never come across a title as bonkers as the title of this poem. I then have a think. I have a ponder, stroking my chin in pensive mode and YES. I’ve done a review with poem, ‘Microchip me baby’ That is indeed a bit of a bonkers title and equally a wacky yet truthful reflection of cultural behaviours (but that’s another story for another time dear reader)
Back to the grocery shop.
WHY ALDI? Is what I am roaring!
Why choose a supermarket to get married in?
I couldn’t think of anywhere worse.
I am not a fan of supermarkets as they are generally ugly behemoths, (many stories for many other times) but I acknowledge and accept we do need them to meet our daily needs. Eggs and toilet roll right? Plus a box of tea bags and tissues, for the tears when one looks at the price rises -eek! (ANYWAY, I digress dear reader. This is not a therapy session, I apologise as this is not the time nor place for the boo hooing.
The title is announcing the intentions of the poet and I’m in shock as I was not expecting it at all, but my curiosity is piqued and I read on.
The first line is not met with anything remotely romantic. The first thing that is mentioned are the prices of the fruit and veg. Well, I suppose that is a very real aspect of married life. Make it clear at the start so your spouse knows exactly where you are and how you wish to be acquiring food. Anyway, I then go ‘Hooray’ because I then see that ‘Love’ will be announced and all who are there in the supermarket will enthusiastically applaud wishing the couple well. I can’t help but smile and go aww. I so do love a good love story, wherever it takes place. Love is love right? It’s a healthy union as they’ll be getting a good price on their 5 a day (or is it 7 now?) What is the daily recommended number of fruit and veg now-a-days? Well, that doesn’t matter. I suppose if fruit and veg of any kind is being consumed then that’s what counts. Choose loads and have it on your plate. Chomp away is what I’d say because it’ll do you good!
Emotion is conveyed with one of the ‘soon to be spouses’ as it appears they’re going to start crying tears of joy and they’ve also got a sniffly nose to accompany those tears but are they indeed all tears of joy? It’s then revealed in a whisper that the spouse who’s welling up, would have preferred the moment to be Waitrose. I can’t help but laugh out loud at this. Oh, what a snob! A supermarket is a supermarket, right? Well that depends who you’re asking. ‘Convenience’ for me, rates as no.1 on my ‘where to shop’ list ahead of the needed items.
And no, I wont reveal where or how I shop dear reader as that’s a potential story for another time but I would say I know where I do not like to go ANYMORE. Years have been wasted. I’m not a specific supermarket disciple! I’m more of a butterfly where I ‘flit’ between a few when it suits me.
I’m laughing again as I still find it hilarious that the couple in question have not considered a ‘traditional’ venue for the wedding or even going abroad to do it on a beach or somewhere exotic and far away from their usual day to day behaviours?
Supermarkets have a lot to answer for. Almost cult-like and sinister.
Do people define themselves with where they shop for their groceries?
Do you dear reader?
I have enjoyed the rhyming of ‘Marry me… with Aldi’
‘fruit and veg’ with ‘love I will pledge’
‘all to see’ with ‘applaud me’
and ‘nose with Waitrose’
An unexpected, short and entertaining read. All have a view, in one way or another about supermarkets. A good piece of fun fantasy storytelling.