Snobby Swan in London

Poem: Snobby Swan in London

Swan in
Show your beak
Be seen
Glide around

Swan about
Swan out

You’ve done your bit
Well done
Good bird

You are stunning, you are told

and you say it too…to yourself!

I am amazing
I am important
I am better
I am the best

I live… in London

I live…on… palace grounds

I live…in… a time warp

I’m elegant and graceful and very much in the know

I drink babycham

Sip London Pride

and pick the cherries out of an artisan Black Forest gateau

Not one from the market in Walthamstow…oh no

Trafalgar Square – you can keep
your dried up piddly corn

I dine on sushi

Bathe in opulence

and witness the glory of each new day being born

Kensington Gardens is where I’m from

This amazing stunning Peacock of a Swan!

 

Review: Snobby Swan In London

This Swan is a Londoner and is going around the city in ‘swan-like fashion’ with all the customary gliding about that swans do. They’ve gone straight in (into a pond, I’m guessing) swanning around, showing off and making sure they are being seen. It’s as though they are on a stage, following a script, doing what’s expected  (aren’t we all doing that on some level?) It’s thoroughly enjoying the attention. I feel I want to applaud its presence, its elegance, and beauty.

A swan is no doubt a beautiful and graceful looking creature.

If a person was to conduct themselves in the same manner (apart from the bit about the pond as that would be weird and no doubt be some sort of a criminal offence) but, how do folk react to the ‘attention seeking’ behaviour of others?

There appears to be more to this particular swan than meets the eye.

It speaks to itself. It ‘big’s itself up’

It’s not enough to have praise bestowed upon it from those who admire it. The swan feels the need to do the same and announces its own magnificence.

Faux pas alert!

It’s a turn off from me.

It’s boastful.

It’s conceited. It’s greedy for more attention.

Saying ‘one’ lives by the palace is indeed showing off! Do I need to know this? Would I regard the bird with more esteem because ‘the palace’ is being mentioned? London has many, take your pick, It’s no big deal. Palaces, royalty, it’s some of the few things that goes on. Some care, some not at all. (Other stories for other times) I shrug my shoulders as that’s how interested I am. Ok, the one thing that I found kinda cool but not overly so, was when the Prince and the Princess went to the beigel shop in the East End and kneaded some dough. Beigels from that bakery are indeed yum. The rotation of folk who work there are cool. I’ve had good quickie conversations with people there, the workers, the homeless and visitors to London. It’s not boring. Life is active with or without the wannabe gentrified folk. Some go there because it’s the ‘trendy’ thing to be seen to do.

(I’ll leave it there, for now)

Back to the swan.

Oh dear, It appears to be in ‘competing mode’ and sounds like it wants to out-do the other swans.

It clearly doesn’t have a clue about being humble and modest. Where is its sophistication? I’ll tell you where… NO WHERE!

Blowing one’s own trumpet when others are already singing your praises is a bit vulgar.

The swan is revealing its ugly side and is showing signs of insecurity with it. Ugly ugly ugly! Continuous validation is what it seeks! What is going on in society for this to be taking place? Oh dear, modern life eh? I wouldn’t be surprised if it pecks its beak on the latest smart phone, takes selfies, gets wing implants and enlargements to express its ‘individuality’ or even chooses to fly to Dubai because it’s bored of Spain and views it as ‘declasse’. Oh, dear, I’m beginning to imagine all sorts of things about this swan! Even the bleaching aesthetic ‘treatment’ of its beak! I have to stop before I get too carried away.

Then what is revealed is that the swan lives in a timewarp!

I laugh out loud at this as it’s so revelatory.  The swan has not moved along with the times, well only by a teeny bit because it eats sushi. It’s 2024, big deal right?

It’s sounds proudly gentrified. I’d say it bathes in ignorance not opulence!  I bet it follows trends, like the retro piggyback hopping done by the wannabee bourgeoisie. Following food trends under titles of  ‘gourmet’  ‘gastro’ and ‘plant-based’ menus of the ‘jellied eels’ scotch eggs, and pork pies. Add a green leaf or two of coriander, a sprig of parsley, wilted spinach and sell it by a river or by a puddle that’s close enough to a ‘trendy’ so called (by estate agents) ‘up and coming’ London postcode, then you’ve made it and you’re laughing! (ok, more like you’re being laughed at!) You have bought into this ‘attractive looking lifestyle’ and put down money on a property that is crumbling, has ‘character’ needs work, and a few prayers OR it has yet to be built but the word, ‘luxury’ is used to promote it. Sold on this ‘emperor’s new clothes’ version of reality. The message of its truth is screaming out to you loudly but is muffled by everyday digital distractions. It’s promoted loudly enough and for long enough. It’s believing its own hype. Words with images and sounds are indeed powerful. Combine all three, there’s a likelihood you’ll be hooked.  There’s clearly an assault on the senses when ‘conveniently’ there is no mention of the toxic air that would filter into these homes and the lungs of occupants due to the adjacent busy main roads and motorways.

The poor swan. Blinded by its narcissisms. There’s the need for to it to be showing off and needing to be seen doing it.

This could apply to anyone living in London, north or south of the river and those who  are heavily active on the ‘socials’ It’s not a matter of class. I’m sure we know or have seen a few who do live in this way. Back to more of this social profiling I’m doing with the swan.

It’s proud to be in London with announcing it drinks ‘London Pride’ beer and drinks babycham too. It certainly sounds like it’s been on ‘the sauce’ when speaking of what it speaks! The time warped era, I’m convinced it hails from is the 1960’s/1970’s because of the clues within the poem. I get the idea that it’s not originally from London. I know some who would go on about how fabulous London is, by being ‘near enough’ to neighbours of royalty and the ‘well knowns’.

The swan is snobby and selective when it comes to choosing where it gets stuff from.

The artisan black Forest gateaux is a humorous line. It wouldn’t pick the cherries out of one from Walthamstow but I think it’s missing a trick! Walthamstow is a concentrated interesting mix of allsorts: The gentrified. The poor. The artists. It’s very leafy in places and is very much a heavily busy urbanised spot.

I’m enjoying the rhyming of words ‘gateau’ and ‘Walthamstow and…oh no! ‘

But the area of Kensington is where it’s from. It’s a royal borough. Super posh it is then.

Elevating its importance by declaring that ‘it’s a ‘stunning peacock’ of a swan!’

Adding another layer of beauty to the visual mix!

But it wants to keep far away from Trafalgar Square. (It doesn’t want to be near the ‘common’ birds, I’m guessing)

It’s an interesting observation on the ‘London experience’ – of that there are many and not just the one point of view. As the reader and as a Londoner, I am met with my own judgements of what the city means to me and how my views of it have changed over time and what my place within it holds for me today. “Maybe it’s because…” as the song goes eh?